The truth is, while sticks and stones can break your bones, words can hurt you. They have the power to break your spirit (your confidence, your self-esteem, the way you see yourself, and a host of other horrible things!)
During my first creative writing class in college, I had an extraordinary professor named Ann. Our initial assignments involved writing poetry, something I had been doing for years before taking formal classes. Ann admired my work, offering valuable suggestions, making corrections, and eliminating unnecessary lines. Her words of praise, particularly when she wrote in red on one of my papers, "You truly are a poet, aren't you? How long have you been writing?" became the wind beneath my wings, sending me soaring. She continued to inspire me, urging me to enter writing contests and apply for writing retreats.
In my second year, I had a teacher named Gary. He didn't share the same appreciation for my writing that Ann did. Rather than offering encouragement, he seemed indifferent, treating me as just another paper to grade. When he did provide feedback, it was often critical and demeaning.
Had I had Gary for my teacher first, I might have stopped writing altogether. He could’ve crushed my dreams and stifled my creativity. Thankfully, I had Ann. She had instilled enough confidence and self-trust in me that the opinions of others, including Gary, became inconsequential. I realized there would always be those who appreciated my work and those who didn't.
Here's the important lesson I want to share with you: Don't allow negative comments, opinions, or indifference from others to prevent you from pursuing your passion or anything else that you want to do.
There's a story about the Buddha. As he walked through a village, an angry young man insulted him. The Buddha remained serene and asked the young man, "If you give a gift to someone who doesn't accept it, who does the gift belong to?" The young man replied, "It belongs to me, as I bought it." The Buddha responded, "That is correct. The same principle applies to your anger. If you direct your anger at me, and I am unaffected, the anger rebounds on you. You are the only one who becomes unhappy, not me. In the end, you only hurt yourself."
The moral of the story? You don’t have to accept those hurtful words or opinions from others. Let them keep their gift, for that is where it belongs.
xx -Kim